Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Will Kamala Harris rekindle the business model of sleeping your way to the top?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If Jesus was crucified by Governor Pontius Pilate, why does the Quran deny his death?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How did Farrah Fawcett die?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have a reading level above third grade

How did you know you weren't the narc?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why do people keep denying the similarities between Latin and Italian by saying they are totally different languages when it’s obvious they sound similar?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why is Trump so disliked worldwide?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What was the most challenging shift you experienced as an ER physician? Can you describe the details and reasons behind it?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Image of giant volcano on Mars captured by NASA orbiter - ABC News

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why am I losing interest to get a job and to all my desires because of this spiritual awakening? How do I get through life because of it?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What are the pros and cons of arranged marriages?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What ended your relationship with your best friend?

I can read

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I actually pay taxes

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I see through liars

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for fakery

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t